Healing Over You
by SunShine1794
Summary: After the lost of Bella's husband, Jake, it's just her and their daughter, Tiffany. Although, she's knows Jake wants her to move on, to find love again... Can she? Or does the pain just cut too deep? (I do not own Twilight in any way shape or form.)
1. Tragic Night

**Okay, I first want to say I don't own Twilight, or any characters you recognize, sadly. But I do own Tiffany! Haha **

**I want to say a huge thank you to my beta, JojotheObsessedFish! **

Do you know what it's like to lose someone who mean everything to you? Someone that was you're love, life, and everything between, I do. The pain cuts deep; you often wonder if you'll survive the lost.

That was my life for about three hours, then I looked over to my baby... Tiffany would grow up without a daddy; Jake wouldn't be there for her when she was sick, scare her first boyfriend, wouldn't see her walk across the stage on her graduation day, he couldn't walk her down the church aisle on her big day, wouldn't be there for that fateful father-daughter dance as her husband stood behind and watched. He wouldn't be there to be a part of all the huge accomplishments she'll carry out in life.

With that realization the tears came faster as a sob stuck in my throat. I stood up from the couch and made my way over to my little girl. She was way too young to understand what was going on, too young to even remember the man she didn't get the chance to even call daddy. She was barely two weeks old today, I guess I should be thankful that Jake was able to meet his baby girl.

Gently, I reached out and took her from my mother's arms, bringing her to my chest and started to cry into her red hair. I have no idea how long I stood there, rocking my baby and sobbing into her.

"Bella, come on. Let's get you to bed, it's late, baby girl." I felt his arms wrap around me as he lifted Tiff and I into his arms. Just like that, I was surrounded by the smell of Old Spice, as Charlie made his way up the stairs to my old room. He slowly laid me down on my bed, taking Tiffany from my arms placing the sleeping baby into the bassist beside my bed, he gave me a quick hug and walked out of the room.

finally alone, I glazed down at my sleeping angel. Although I felt almost numb to the world, looking at my baby, I knew that everything would okay, somehow, someway, we would come out of the slump we were in. It's true, Jake couldn't be here with us, but I knew that he loved us. He wouldn't want to see me like this, he would want us to live a happy life.

Even with the new realization, I knew it wouldn't be any easier; it would take time, the pain wouldn't simply just go away, not for a long time. And even then it wouldn't completely go away. But we would be okay, I would make it through for my baby.

Let me try to explain to you a little about what happened. Jake was a cop, he loved his job, keeping the people of LA safe was what he always dreamed of doing. I met him when my dad had him over for dinner one night. I had come over to surprise him and mom, not expecting them to have anything planned. Jake and I ended up hitting it off from the start. We swapped number as he was leaving, the rest was history.

Anyway, I kind of got off track there. He was killed trying to save a baby that was only a few weeks older than Tiffany during a robbery that had gone wrong. The robber hadn't noticed the baby, so when Jake went over to the baby, the robber was startled causing him to shoot a single shot, hitting my husband between his eyes. Thankfully, the baby was safe, if they would've both lost their lives, I would more than likely be in worse shape than I am in now.

As I lied in bed that night, I thought back through all the times Jake and I had, the good, bad, and all the in betweens. Smiling sadly, I closed my eyes, allowing sleep to overtake me.

There he was, I couldn't believe my eyes, Jake was standing in front of me. "Hey, baby." He greeted me, while walking my way.

I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but no sound came out. I stood there, dumbfounded, just staring at the love of my life. I knew it was a dream, it had to be. I smiled at him, tears silently ran down my face, coming out of my shocked state I threw myself into his arms. Clinging to him, I cried.

Slowly, his arms came around me, holding me to him as I cried, he whispered sweet words into my hair, than slowly pulled away from me. "I know, you're hurting, baby. And I'm not gonna lie, I wish I could have stayed with you and Tiff, but my time's up on earth. I want you to move on; find a guy that'll treat my girls like queens, I want you to love again. It'll be okay, you'll both be fine in time. I just ask, please tell my baby all about me when she's old enough. I love you, never forget that." And just as fast as he came, he was gone.

I awoke with a start, tears falling down my checks, yet a smile on my face. I don't know how long I cried, just letting it all out. But the next thing I remember is waking up to the sun shining, bird singing, and the bluest sky I've ever seen, and the giggles of my angel as my mother played with her. It was also the day that marked the start of some of the hardest days of my life.

I smiled looking over at my mother and Tiffany. "Good morning," my voice sounding horse, not like my voice at all. But a small smile was on my face as I watched mom attempt to get Tiffany to smile up at her.

"I've got Tiff, you go shower and relax a little." Like I could relax in a time like this, but I obeyed my mother and got my butt out of bed and made a b-line for the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror, my completion scared me. I was way too pale, my eyes still blood-shot, in other words; I looked like I aged ten years over night. Which, in a way, I guess I did. I hopped in the shower as soon as the water was warm enough, and tried to get my mind off from Jake; it was hard not to wake up in his arms. It was harder to believe that just yesterday, I did wake up in his arms, even felt him kiss my forehead before he left to go to work. I would've never believed that I wouldn't ever see him again if you would've told me what was gonna happen this time yesterday. After my shower, I grabbed the hair dryer and started getting ready for the day.

**a/n still here? Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be up soon.**

**Ps: Constructive criticism appreciated.**


	2. Two Years Later

Two years later:

I awoke to the blaring of an alarm clock, and a throbbing headache. 'Great, just what I needed to start my day with,' I thought to myself as I pulled myself out of bed. I really shouldn't have drunk as much as I did last night. But how else was I to keep going on? With Jake gone, everything changed — everything I knew, everything I did changed. It was almost too much to take.

Sleepily, I walked down the hall, making my way down to Tiffany's room; opening the door, I walked over to her bed. Gazing down at her, I noticed just how much she looked like her father. She had Jake's eyes, nose, and lips. She had of course got her pale skin from me, but that's the only thing that said me; well, she had my personality, too. Shy and reserved until she got to know you, but boy, than were you in trouble. She definitely had the red-head temper. No one knows how she ended up a red-head, but it fit her; made her stand out.

"Tiffany, sweetie, it's time to wake up." I whispered into her hair, rubbing my hand down her back, waking my angel without startling her.

Slowly, her small, hazel eyes opened. "Momma," her voice still thick with sleep, she reached her little arms out, allowing me to lift her up out of bed.

I quickly got her ready for the day before making back to my room, sitting her on the floor with some of her toys, then making my way to the master bath for a quick shower.

Once I was through with my shower, I got out; brushed my teeth, dried my hair, and applied my make-up for the day, before leaving the bathroom. Making my way over to my closet, I pulled out my favorite black suit, I then paired it with my red heels to give it a pop of color. Declaring myself ready, I made my way to my baby, scooping her into my arms. Placing a kiss on her forehead, I started making my way down stairs.

Quickly, I made my way to kitchen, I placed Tiffany in the high chair, before starting on breakfast. I decided on making scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Simple, fast, yet I knew Tiffany would eat it.

We talked, or well I talked to her — she had yet to say too many words, but the words she did say, was clear as day. I have one very smart little girl. I knew I was in trouble when she got older, she already had the sassy, my way or the highway kinda attitude about her.

The past two years were hard, not that I expected them to be easy. But even now, some days I still didn't want to get out of bed. Not without Jake, but I did, if not for myself, for Tiffany, my baby. She had become my entire world after Jake's death, not that she wasn't before. She was, just is even so more now.

Even though Jake told me to move on, to find love again. I couldn't. I can't. I couldn't even get myself to talk to another guy, let alone find love again. Sure, I've thought about it, and in many ways, it would be nice to have someone to share my life with. But I couldn't bring myself to let go of Jake, not even in the slightest way. Therefore, it's just Tiff and I — the way it would stay for a long time coming.

Shaking my head, clearing my thoughts — I wasn't going there, not today. I had enough to worry about to worry about with work. I didn't need to add to my stress because I allowed myself to think of Jake.

I plated our food before making my way over to the refrigerator, getting out the apple juice and pouring us both a cup, then I plopped myself lazily down by Tiffany, feeding the both of us quickly.

Looking at my watch, I noticed it was 8:45; I had fifteen mins to get Tiffany to day-care, and be in my meeting… and I had to face the LA traffic. This was so not my day.

Jumping up, I grabbed my phone, purse, and Tiffany. I ran for the door, locking it behind me in a haste, finally, making my way to my white Volvo. Shoving everything into the back seat beside Tiff's car seat, buckled her in, before slamming the door. Running around to my side of the car, got in, buckled myself up, and pulled out of the drive.

I couldn't be more thankful that the law firm I worked for had a child care service for all of their employees. So at least I didn't have to stop anywhere else.

Finally arriving at the firm, I quickly got my things, and Tiffany before running as fast as the heels would allow inside the building.

"Hey, Bella, running a little late?" Anglia, Tiffany's teacher remarked playfully. I nodded my head, passing Tiff over to her, dropping a kiss on her forehead, and dashing off.

I decided to use the stairs since the elevator took forever. Sadly, that involved me running up four flights of stairs, therefore, I could barely breathe when I reached the top of the forever long stairs of terror. Taking a deep breath, trying to regain control of my breathing, I quickly made my way towards the conference room.

Mike was watching for me, as always. "Cutting it close today, aren't we, Bella?" He teased, attempting to flirt with me, yet again. I don't use the word hate, but that guy has made me want to change that. He's an outright jerk . . . and that's putting it nicely. Basically, he's known around here as the office playboy. Using women as toys, then when he gets bored, throws them in the trash and moves on to the next. Sick, right?

Lucky me, I was his latest target. No matter how many times I've turned him down. He didn't get the picture, thought that I was just playing hard to get. He apparently likes the chase, it's been going on for about six months now. He just didn't know that it was a chase he was never going to win. Not even if he was the last guy on earth.

Rushing past him: annoyed with him already, I walked into the conference room. Thankful for the meeting that was about to take place.

"Morning, Dr. Cullen, sorry I'm late." I apologized, hating the fact that he had beat me here.

"Rest assured Miss Black, its okay. I just got here anyway." His kind eyes and sincere smile, putting me at ease. Shaking his hand, I took a seat with a returning smile. Thankful that he wasn't mad at my tardiness.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen was my latest client. You may have heard of him a time or two. After all, he is one of the most sought after plastic surgeons today. He was being sued by a Miss Hale, she had a bad nose job, came to Carlisle to fix it, he did a remarkable job, if I say so myself. But Miss Hale wasn't pleased. Apparently, you could see a slight bump. Which, I couldn't see it myself.

Taking a moment — I got my thoughts together by reading over the file in front of me, refreshing my memory where it failed me. "So it seems, Miss Hale had a bad nose job in the past, therefore, came to you to attempt to correct it, right?" I asked, stating what the file read.

He nodded his head, "Yes, that's correct. I shouldn't have taken her on as a patient. Not and knowing how she was, I mean, my son is dating her. I knew she was hard to please, but I wanted to help her, so I did. Yet, I went against my better judgment," he explained. No wonder he was so upset about the case, his family was involved. Never a good sign.

As we talked about the case, I got to know a little more about what happened, to me it seemed like Miss Hale was suing the wrong doctor. She was suing the one that was trying to help her, the one that jacked her nose up was getting away with it. It didn't make sense.

"Thank you for the help, Isabella." I cringed at him using my full name.

Smiling, I automatically corrected him, "It's Bella."

"Bella," He corrected himself with a laugh, before we said goodbye.

The rest of work dragged on, I didn't have any other cases, so I didn't have anything to keep me busy; much to my dislike I had to help Mike on his rape case for a major part of the day.

It was sad, Bree was barely sixteen years old. Had her whole life ahead of her, then James, the sick pervert, couldn't keep it in his pants and force himself upon a child? I could kill him myself and feel no remorse.

Sure, she was alive, she still had her whole life ahead of her, but everything changed, nothing would ever be the same for her. Time would heal the wounds, physical and mental, but it would change her. In more ways than not, the pervert gave her HIV… okay, so maybe she didn't have her whole life ahead of her, but I'm a positive person. After all, you are what you speak. Therefore, I'm declaring she's going to live a long happy life, HIV won't hold her back from reaching any of her dreams, she'll overcome it.

"Well, Mike I got to go. It's 6:30 and I'm out." Not giving him time to answer me, I made my escape for the room.

Walking into the room, I watched as Tiffany played with one of her little friends, Jamie. Jamie was Anglia's little girl, she and Tiffany got along amazingly.

It was great to see her liking daycare, unlike when I started bringing her here after my mom started wanting to travel, therefore, could no longer watch her for me. She hated it, no loathed it, according to Anglia, she cried for hours after I left, until her and Jamie started playing about a week ago. It was refreshing to see her having fun.

Upon seeing me, her little face lit up, as she ran towards me as fast as her little feet could carry her. I bent down to catch her as her small body made contact with mine.

"Hey, baby girl," I greeted, hugging her back.

"She was wonderful today, Bella." Anglia informed me. I smiled, showing just how proud I was of my baby.

After talking with Angie for a while, we made our escape. I spent enough time there and didn't want to spend more than I had to.

Seeing the park across the street as we made our way out go the firm, I decided to that we could go play for a while. We both could use some fun, and it was her favorite place to go.

Looking down at her excited face as I stepped on the play-ground, I smiled. "What do you want to do first, baby?" I questioned, placing her on her feet — letting her take the lead on what she wanted to play with.

She took off running towards the swings; laughing I ran after her, scooping her up into my arms placing her into the swing, I gave her a gentle shove. Smiling as her laughter filled the air, I giggled along with her. Seeing her so happy, made me happy. She's the only person that could turn my horrible day around.

"Higher, mommy," she squealed, causing me to laugh, I pushing her a little harder.

We played for about an hour before my little girl was wore out. I picked her up, swinging her up into my arms, she placed her head on my shoulder, her eyes fluttered closed — showing just how sleeping she really was.

When we finally made it to the car, I placed my already sleeping baby in her seat, buckling her up, then going around to myself of the car, and getting in myself. I smiled to myself at the memory of her laughter and giggles as we played on the play-ground. My horrible day was starting to end amazingly.

Upon getting home, I made my way into Tiffany's room, placing her sleeping form on the changing table, before going over to her dresser and gently changing her into her favorite The Little Mermaid nightgown, then placed her into her bed. Dropping a kiss on her forehead, smiling softly. Then made my way to the door — being as quite as I could then shutting it softly — the last thing I needed was a grumpy baby because I woke her up.

Looking at the clock as I enter my room for the nigh, I noticed that it was a little pasted eight. Sighing, I grabbed my PJs, slipped them, but not before grabbing the bottle off the dresser and then slipped into bed, then grabbed a book, not caring what one I grabbed. I had no intention on reading it any way — it was just a half-hearted attempt to get myself not to think about my late husband. Not that it worked, it never did. I had hoped it would have started getting better. But that had yet to happen . . . and it's been two years.

I opened the bottle, bringing it to my lips, slowly. I knew it was wrong, yet, at the time I didn't care. I needed relief, this was the only way the pain would never numb.

**A/N I'm sorry any mistakes, I'm uploading this on my iPad.**

**Constructive Criticism Appreciated **

**Next Chapter Will Be Up Soon**


	3. Fateful Meeting?

With tomorrow being Saturday, I decided that I would surprise Tiffany with a trip to the Los Angeles Zoo. She loved any type of animal, therefore, it seemed fitting. It would be her first trip there; she may not remember it, but I would. I wanted her see her little face light up with excitement as she took in all the different animals.

That was something else she got from Jake — her love of animals. I liked them, but Jake had been obsessed with them from the time he was a kid. According to Billy, Jake often brought wounded birds, cats, and dogs to their house. If it needed help, Jake was there to attend to it's every need.

As I sat of the couch, I found myself staring at our wedding photo. I could remember being so nervous. I begged my father not to let me fall — stating that is was the last thing I needed to happen. Charlie had assured me, promising me that he would catch me if I stumbled even the slightest bit.

My grip on Charlie's arm tightened as the wedding march began to play. Taking a deep breath then slowly releasing it — letting go of all the nerves. I smiled up at Charlie just as the church doors opened.

My eyes searched for Jake, looking past all the décor my mother worried about. I couldn't care less what the church looked like, and what dress I was wearing — the only thing that mattered to me was I was marring Jake, the love of my life. Finally, I spotted him, standing at the end of the aisle looking breath-taking in his black tux. Don't get me wrong, he looked amazing in his jeans and t-shirts, but him in a tux was to die for.

Slowly, I started the long walk down the aisle, each step bring me a step closer the rest of my life — each step bringing me one second closer to becoming Mrs. Jacob Black. I wanted to sprint down the aisle, but as that thought crossed my mind — my father must have noticed something because his hold on my arm tighten, silently reminding me that I had to keep in time with the music.

"Who gives the woman away in holy matrimony?" The pastor asked my father.

Charlie's eyes were swimming with unshed tears. "Her mother and I," He choked out, placing my hand into Jake's before kissing me on the check, whispering his love to me and taking his place beside my crying mother.

After that, the rest ceremony is a hazy, I was far too lost in Jake's eyes to pay attention to anything but him.

"Do you, Isabella Swan, take Jacob Black to be your husband? To have and to hold, in sickness, and in health, until death do you part." Pastor Greene asked that fateful question. I couldn't stop the tears that were flowing freely down my checks.

My smile brightened as I glazed up into Jake's teary eyes, I could tell he was moments away from cry openly. "I do," my voice wasn't any louder than a whisper, yet Jake heard them.

I would be spending the rest of my life with this wonderful, amazing man who was standing in front of me. I could picture us gray-headed, sitting in rocking chairs with grandchildren surrounding us. It was perfect, absolutely perfect.

"With the power invested in me by God and the great stated of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Jacob, you may kiss your beautiful bride." Without needing any other encouragement, Jake pulled me into a kiss full of all the love and passion we had for each other. Our first kiss as husband and wife, the first of many to come.

Smiling, his blues eyes sparking with laughter — the pastor finally addressed the congregation. "I proudly present to you for the first time, Mr and Mrs Jacob Black!" Everyone went wild, screaming and clapping for us as we made our way up the aisle and out of the church doors.

Whipping the tears that had fallen from my eyes, I smiled at the memory of our wedding day. I couldn't get over the fact that he was gone. What had I done to deserve to raise a child by myself? Why did God have to take my husband away? We had, had so many plans that we had made for the future, things we wanted to do, experiences we wanted to share. But he was ripped from me, I was here alone, raising our daughter alone.

I wanted to scream, cry, and shut the world out and Jude die, yet I couldn't. I couldn't leave Tiffany without a parent — she was the only thing that kept me on this earth. But as time went on, it got harder, wasn't it supposed to get easier. It didn't make sense, I knew I had everything to live for, yet I didn't want to. Not with Jake.

Shaking my head, a weak attempt to clear it of all thoughts. I stood up, I would not think that way. I couldn't, it wasn't right. But why couldn't I get the thoughts to leave my mind? No matter how many times I tried, they kept coming back. Sure, throughout the day I managed to keep them away, act like I was getting over it, starting to move on. I was able to put on the mask I always wore, and play the part of the happy person everyone thought I was. Not letting them know that girl had died along with my husband. No one could know just how much I was still suffering. No one needed to worry about me, I would be fine, in time. I hoped.

Maybe, just maybe I needed to seek help, at least give something a try, for Tiffany. I could feel myself slipping father into depression. How many more nights could I take crying myself to sleep? How many more time could I cry at all? I spent almost all of my alone time crying, grieving over Jake, It couldn't be good. Not going on this long, yet doesn't everyone heal in their own time? Maybe it was normal, maybe I should give myself more time. Time does heal all wounds, right?

Why does everything have to be so confusing?

Seeking some type of comfort, I made my way to the cabinet, pulling out the cheap bottle of whiskey — I took a long pull, enjoying the burning feeling as it slide down my throat. It was a temporary relief, but a relief none the less. That's all that mattered to me, I needed to stop thinking about Jake, drinking as bad as I knew it was - it always seemed to make thoughts of him disappear, if only for a little while.

Before I knew it the entire bottle was gone, along with most of the pain. Smiling to myself, I stumbled up the stairs, and made my way into my room. I laid on the bed, not caring if I was still fully dressed, I laid down. I needed sleep.

* * *

Two little hands pried my eyes open, the bright sunlight causing me to wince in pain. I desperately need pain killers, fast. "Up, mommy, up!" My angel demanded, her little eyes shooting me a glare.

My little girl must be hungry, that's really the only time she got mad. just like every other toddler - she had her grumpy days, but was normally a happy baby. Smiling at her, I let her pull me out of bed.

After I took two pain-killer, needing relief from the horrible headache. I couldn't win, I would hurt, or I would hurt in another way. We made our way down the stairs, and into the kitchen. I decided to just fix cereal for breakfast, not wanting to cook.

With a pain filled groan, I laid my head on the table. Closing my eyes, I just sat there waiting on Tiffany to finish eating. I really needed to get rid of all the alcohol in the house. Looking at Tiffany, I knew she didn't need an alcoholic for a mother, I needed to get better. For her. I needed to be stronger than the pain that I buckled under. I needed to be a better mother, if I was a good mom I wouldn't have never went to whiskey for relief.

At that moment, I can honestly say I halted myself. It was then that I realized I had a horrible problem, but how could I fix it? Did I even really and truly want to fix it? I didn't know, and that terrified me. What was I going to do?

Picking up the phone, I called the person that I knew could help me, well, he would know someone who could help me. My latest client, Carlisle Cullen.

My nerves grew with each passing second, I contemplated on just hanging up . . . Maybe I didn't want help, after all. Clicking the end button quickly, I turned my phone off. I would stop my drinking problem, but I would do it on my own. If that didn't work, I would seek help from others. But that would be my last resource, I could, I would fix this own my own. I could do it.

After Tiffany ate, and we were both dressed we were zoo bound. My head still hurt, yet I didn't care, I could remember this the next time I wanted to drink, a lesson I needed to learn. My excitement soon grew as the zoo sign came into view, I knew that my baby would have a blast today.

Forgetting about my pain, I parked the car.

Smiling as I got Tiffany's stroller out of the trunk, before settling her into it and practically running to the front gate of the park, my excitement grew as I bought our tickets, and we made our way into the park.

I watched as Tiffany's eye lit with excitement as she looked around noticing the monkeys on her right, she let out a giggle as she looked up at me pointing to them. Taking that as the first animal she wanted to go see, I made my way over to them.

"Do you see the monkeys, baby?" I asked her, as I bent down, so I was her height. I stood there watching her excitement, I honestly didn't know who was having more fun, her or me. She looked at me grabbing my face and turn my head, forcing me to look at the monkeys.

The one that she was most fascinated with was eating a banana, staring at us — just as fascinated with us as Tiffany was of him. Tiffany let out another giggle as the monkey finished his snake and through the peeling into a trash can,

Maybe she could learn something from him.

We walk around the zoo, looking at all the different animals, I learnt that Tiffany has a fear of snakes — that made two of us. I also learnt that she loved every other animal the zoo had to offer.

"Hey, beautiful," looking over my shoulder to see who was addressing me, I froze. The man was gorgeous, he had messy copper-colored her hair; red but not quite as red as Tiffany's. He was tall, lean, yet built. But he wasn't so built that you were intimidated by him. And I did mention his smile? Oh, that smile. That crooked smile, I felt my knees go weak.

I smiled back, hoping I didn't look stupid. "Hi," really, that's all I had to say? Yet, at the time, I'm surprised I was even able to say that.

"What is a beautiful girl like you doing here?" As he spoke, his smooth voice washed over me, forcing my heart into double time. What was happening to me? No guy has ever made me do this, not since Jake. And even then, I had to get to know him; I didn't know this guy . . . not even his name.

Was he flirting? With me?

"Um, I'm here with my daughter, Tiffany," the nerves were building up, what was I doing? I couldn't be flirting, could I?

What was going on with me?

Looking over at Tiffany, he smiled. "She's a cutie," bending down to her size.

Tiffany gave him a shy smile, sticking her thumb in her month. Edward chuckled at her, "Are you having fun?" She nodded her head, not daring to remove them body part from her mouth.

I watched as he interacted with my baby, a smile made it's way to my lips. I didn't know this man, but he was making my little girl smile like no man had ever done before. Even though the only man she had ever had any interaction with was my father, she still didn't act like this with him at first. He always had to bribe her ar first. This was defiantly something different, and completely out of the normal for Tiffany.

Standing up, he stretched out his hand, "I'm Edward by the way. You have an adorable daughter." Smiling brightly, I thanked him.

Suddenly he was nervous, he wasn't so sure of himself. Gone was the confident guy. Wondering what was wrong, then I noticed him looking at my left hand where my wedding rings were. Realization hit as I tried to think of what to tell him, how to explain.

Why did I feel the need to explain myself to him?

He reached out his hand, taking my hand into his, giving a slight hand shake. I could've sworn I felt electricity flow between our hands, something I hadn't felt since Jake. "Bella, nice to meet you Edward." I dropped his hand as if it burned mine own, and in a way, it did. I instantly missed the contact, but brushed it off immediately.

To ease his nerves, I gave him a very brief description of what happened to Jake, after he figured out that I noticed he kept glancing down at the two pieces jewelry on my left hand, of course. He immediately eased, conversation from then on flowed easily between us, never seeming to run out of things to talk about.

Edward and I talked for who knows how long, I learnt that he was also a doctor, but his real passion was for music. He had felt forced into med school, and went without complaint. Not wanting to fight with his parents, although it's sweet he didn't want to fight with his parents, he should be doing what he's passionate about. I voiced this concern to him, just to have him laugh it off saying that he now loves what he does. But with the way he acted after saying that has me thinking different.

I can honestly say, I enjoyed talking with him, we really hit it of. I don't know what made me do it, but as we parted ways . . . when he asked for my number, I gave it to him. Crazy, right? I, Isabella Black, gave a guy her phone number.

Once home, I gave Tiffany a bath, before watching The Little Mermaid as she fell asleep, cuddled in my arms. I let the movie I had watched a hundred times before play out before I put my baby to bed.

As I laid in bed that night, I thought of everything that had happened that day, in other words; I thought of Edward. What had caused me to give him my number? I hadn't had the desire to even think about going on a date, yet, one meeting with Edward, and somehow, some way, that changed. It confused the crap out of me, yet something inside me told me to just go with the flow.

Suddenly my mind went to Jake, tears immediately pooled I my eyes, I had to stop thinking of Edward that way. I couldn't forget Jake, I wouldn't!

Yet, that was the first night I didn't drink or cry myself to sleep.

**A/N Two chapters in one day! I didn't even see that coming. Haha**

**Sorry for any mistakes.**

_**Constructive Criticism Appreciated! If there on anything I can work on let me know!**_

**I want to say a big thank you to nbrian72 for being my first reviewer!**

**PS: Reviewers get sneak peeks for chapter 4!**

**PPS: Depending on the feed back, this maybe the last update this month. I'm have family coming in, so I won't want to write if I don't feel like anyone is read. So lets say, five reviews and I'll have you guys a least one more chapter this month. That I can promise, reviews make me want to write. :) If we don't get there, I'll see you guys next month.**

**Thanks for reading! **


	4. Maybe, Just Maybe

**I don't own Twilight**

**HAPPY BITHDAY EARLY, k9rules1991! THIS ONE'S FOR YOU, I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!**

I didn't hear from Edward that week, nor did I hear from him the week after. In one way I was thankful, the other I was disappointed that he hadn't called. I was thankful that he hadn't called simply because I didn't know what I wanted; was I ready to move on? I didn't know, that thought scared me, I didn't want to string Edward along, it wasn't right to him, or me for that matter. Yet, I didn't know if I was ready for any type of relationship with anyone, if I was ready to let go of Jake.

I couldn't deny that I wasn't attracted to Edward — that would be an outright lie. I was insanely attracted to him, come on, who wouldn't be, though? He looked like a dang model in one of those magazines that my mom reads. Any girl would be lucky to have him, he was an amazing guy. Inside and out, I could tell that with just meeting him once. Could you imagine actually getting to know him how perfectly amazing he would be?

I ran to the ringing cell phone, almost tripping half-way there. "Hello?" I breathed into the phone, trying to still my heart from the fear of almost killing myself running down the stairs.

"Hey, Bella." Disappointment washed over me, it was just Angela.

"Hey, Angie?" I greeted, trying to keep my disappointment from showing in my voice, I don't think I succeed.

She let out a sigh, "What's up with you , Bella? You haven't been yourself all week." Well, crap. What did I say to that?

"I met a guy at the zoo, we seemed to hit it off, but I haven't heard from him at all and it's been over two weeks." I explained, even though I really didn't want anyone to know that I had given a guy my number. I didn't want anyone pushing me to move on, I would move on in my time, or not move on at if.

She did something that I hadn't heard anyone do since high school; she squealed, I'm talking about that high-pitched squeal that leaves your eardrum ringing for minutes after. "You have to tell me all about him!" She demanded, why did this have to happen to me?

"Angie, he may not call, I honestly don't think he's going to. If he was, he would've called already." I didn't want to believe my words, but I didn't want anyone to know just how high my hopes were on this, I even tried to lie to myself about.

"He'll call B, maybe he's just been busy." Maybe she was right, but I didn't want to let myself get too effected by her reassurance. It would only make the disappointment cut deeper if he didn't call.

Shaking my head, I forced myself to disagree with her, "Angie, I think he would have had time to at least send a quick text." I pointed out, which, I was surely right about. It doesn't take thirty-seconds to send the dang message.

She let out a huff, "Bella, cut the guy some slack, maybe he hasn't thought to text." She defended him once again.

I laughed. Once her mind was made up on something, you didn't change it. "Okay." I gave in, no use to fight her on this, she wouldn't let me win. But I highly doubted what she was say was true.

An ideal hit, we hadn't had a girl's day in forever and my mother had Tiffany for the day. "Do you want to go catch a movie or something?" I asked, hoping that she could go, it was the perfect distraction from any thought or Edward or Jake.

She agreed quickly, saying she would meet me at the mall in an hour. Without another second, I jumped up, running for the bathroom, I only had 45 minutes to get dressed and make it to the theater.

I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans, a fitted red sequence top, and my black high-heeled boots, and finally throwing on my black leather jacket. Declaring myself ready, I smiled. My outfit was cute, sassy, and a little edgy. I would definitely have all the guys that looked my way doing double takes. Walking over to the mirror, I applied my makeup, keeping in natural, but popping my lips using a deep red color.

Once finished, I made my way out the door, heading for the movie theater.

* * *

The movie was dual, lacking in partly everything. The only thing actually good was the leading actor, a new comer, Robbie Amell. He was a total babe, and a pretty decent actor. He had a bright future in front of him. He gained one fan, anyway. I would go watch him again . . . as long as in was in a different movie.

After the movie, we went to a small opened 24 hours dinner — both getting ice-cream sundaes and sent who knows how long laughing. Hanging out with Angie was fun, we laughed, ate, talked, and bonded. It was truly refreshing to hang out with an adult outside of work. Not that I would trade a second with Tiff away for some time with Angie. But I truly had a great time — we had to make a point in doing this more often.

Angie and I had a blast out together, we didn't drink. Which, I found myself extremely thankful for, I didn't want to face that temptation; I had gotten rid of all the alcohol in the house away, therefore, I hadn't drunk; I was proud of myself, I didn't want any set backs, but knew that if I went anywhere close to a bar I wouldn't be able to stop myself. We had good clean fun, I could have honestly said that we wouldn't have had anymore fun if we had gone to a bar or club.

"So, Bella, you know that guy you were telling me about?" Angie asked, taking a small bite of her ice-cream.

'There went the no talking about Edward or Jake.' I thought to myself as I nodded my head, silently answering her question.

Where was she going with this?

Sitting down her spoon, she looked at me for a long moment. Silently she watched me, studying me carefully. "Are you okay with moving on from Jake?" She asked the question I had asked myself every day, no, probably every hour.

I had no ideal how to answer that, if I did it would make a lot of thing easier. "I don't know, I want to move on, I'm just not sure if I can." I admitted, "I want to move on, I honestly believe that Jake would want me to, I just don't know if I can let him go." I attempted to explain. I don't think she got what I was saying, though.

She smiled a sold, sad smile. "Sweetie, moving on isn't letting go of Jake. A piece of your hear will always be his." I knew her words were true. Well, my mind did, my heart wasn't so sure. I loved Jake, I knew that, but could I ever love another guy? That I didn't know; it wasn't right to string a guy along, playing with his heart if I knew that my heart couldn't let go of my husband enough to love another. It would be fair to anyone, let alone Edward.

I sat there; taking in her words, knowing that she was true, but not knowing if I could move on. I didn't realize I was crying until a tear hit my hand which was resting on the table, I didn't bother to whip them away, I cried. Angela came over to me, wrapping me into a comforting embrace, allowing me to cry once again. But this time there was someone there to offer me comfort, I wasn't hiding my pain away. For once II let someone comfort me, let someone be there for me as my heart broke.

"Thanks," my voice was nothing but a whisper, but the sincerity was clear. I was truly thankful for her not trying to tell me what I needed to do, that it would be okay, or that I needed to move on. She just let me cry, let me get it out of my system, not just attempt to get my mind off the pain. It wasn't expected, but totally welcomed. I couldn't begin to tell her just how truly thankful I was.

Siting down beside me, smiled, "You don't have to thank me, Bella."

I don't know how long we talked about Jake, me remembering, her learning about him. I told her how we met, our first date, the first kiss we shared, the time that Jake went to ten different places looking for a certain ice-cream I wanted, the time that even though he wasn't feeling the greatest — he still came over to my house to watch movie like we did every thursday night.I then told her how he proposed, our wedding, and our wedding nigh — how nervous we both had been. That we both had waited for of wedding night to go pasted anything but a simple pop kiss. Basically, I told her every memory that had come to mind. We laughed and cried at all the stories I had told her.

It felt good talking about Jake and his life — not just crying and grieving over his death. Better than I ever thought it would.

* * *

It was around two am when I arrived home that night, or morning. Even though I was exhausted; I felt lighter than I had since Jake's death. I wasn't completely normal, bunt I was defiantly on the way.

I took a long hot shower, taking my time thinking back on everything that I had learnt and realized, I knew I still had a long way to go; I was still far from being where I wanted to me, but the grief didn't consume me.

I was finally realizing that even though Jake was gone, my life ending. Finally realizing that I needed to move with my life, Jake wasn't coming back, no matter how much I missed him, no matter how much I needed him. He was gone. And maybe, I was finally accepting it, allowing it to really sink in; I was finally swallowing the bitter-tasting pill.

It wouldn't happen over night, or with in the next year; but I was starting to move on. Starting to let go of all the pain that held me captive.

I could still love Jake and the time we spent to get, and be able to make new memories with someone new.

Maybe I could love again.

**A/N So we didn't get the five chapters, but I decided to be nice and update anyway. :) ****This will probably be my last update of the month, but think of it this way; I've gave you four chapter in one month; that's a chapter for each week.**

**Bella realized a lot in this chapter, but the battle for her isn't over. She still isn't completely ready to move on . . . You'll know what I'm meaning soon enough. WHY HASN'T EDWARD CALLED OR EVEN TEXT? (Review and I might tell ya ;) )**

**Reviews are welcomed, and as always, the reviews get sneak peeks of the next chapter.**

**Talk to you guy next time.**


	5. FOUR AM CALL (sorry its so short)

Although my mind-set changed after my chat with Angela; my heart was still trying to hold on. Edward still hadn't called by Wednesday, I had honestly lost all hope that he would.

If he was going to he would have already. I was disappointed, I didn't try to hind that — not from Angie, anyway. She was the only one I had told, the only one it was going to tell. She hadn't pushed me in any way, she was there for me when I needed someone to talk to — never judging, and always there to help in any way she could.

I woke up the ringing of my phone, looking at the clock I realized that it was just pasted four in the morning. Who in their right mind would be calling me so late?

I grabbed my phone off of the nightstand, "Hello?" I'll admit, I was rude. More so than I should have been.

There was a hesitant pause, as if they were afraid to speak. "Hey, Bella it's me, Edward." Came his velvety voice over the phone.

So now he decides to call me?

"What do you want?" I barked into the cellular device. I was anything but nice, yet I couldn't find it in myself to be the slightest bit remorseful.

He let out a long sigh, not speaking for a while. "I know you're upset with me, you have every right to be."

_Well duh, can I go back to sleep now?_ Gone was the hurt, the longing for him to call. I was pissed. He went over two weeks, no contact whatsoever. Why call me now?

When I didn't say anything, he sighed, yet again. "I know it's not an excuse, but I've just been busy with work. The hospital's been crazy." He sounded truly sincere.

Okay, so maybe Angela was right . . .

Huffing to let him know that I was still there; I know it was childish, yet I remained silent. Basically giving him the silent treatment, not caring how he thought of the way I was asking. I was pissed, confused, and a little hurt. The anger and hurt surprised me, didn't know this guy so why would him ignoring me, actually hurt me in any way? I didn't get it.

"I called to see if you wanted to go out on a date with me Saturday?" He was nervous, probably because of the way I was acting. "I can understand if you don't want anything to do with me, who would want to go on a date with a guy that ignores them for two weeks?"

Let me think, no one.

"Edward, it's not that I don't want to go on a date with you." I stated, speaking for the first time since his "explanation". Thankfully there was no anger in my voice, only confusion laced with a little hurt. "But why call me now? You waited two weeks without even a text, then call me at four in the morning asking me to going to date. Doesn't make sense to me." I was beyond confused.

How did this guy wiggle his way into my heart already? After one meeting, one meeting, not two — and already found myself undeniably, insanely attracted to him . . . And not just because of his looks, either. There was just something, what I couldn't tell what that was pulling me to him. Yet, I wasn't going to get in. Not this quick.

"I think we need to be friends first, before we start any type of relationship." Pausing to see what his reaction would be, when he said nothing continued. "Therefore, I'm saying no to the date. But maybe you can come over and have dinner with me and Tiffany just hang out." If he said no, than oh well. Goodbye, Edward. I wasn't going to let him play with my heart. It was shattered already — almost beyond repair. I knew for sure it couldn't stand it anymore damage, therefore, I would protect it at all costs. Even if it meant letting Edward go; there were other fish in the sea.

"Dinner sounds good, maybe I can even bring over a movie." He was quick to agree. "How does Frozen sound?" Was he really willing to watch a Disney movie for my daughter?

"Sure, that sounds great." I agreed. Yawning, we said goodnight before hanging up the phone.

After getting off the phone, I smiled. Proud of myself for not giving into Edward, I surprise even myself for standing my ground.

* * *

I was able to talk to Angela while on my lunch break the next day, I explained to her that Edward had called at four freaking a.m. — I told her about declining on the date, but that we agreed to be friends for now. Not mentioning that he was coming over for dinner Saturday night — what she didn't know couldn't hurt her. I didn't want to make a big deal about it, she would. After she got her "I told you so," in she was happy that I didn't just give in to him.

Work went by rather quick, not much happening; just set a few court dates, met with some clients — the normal. I was thankful to get out — looking forward to spending some time with my baby girl.

We hadn't done anything special since the park, so I decided that a baking night would be fun. I made sure to stop my the grocery store on the way home — getting eggs, flour, sugar, chocolate chips, and vanilla extract. All the ingredients required to make my famous chocolate chip cookies.

"Make cookies, mommy?" Tiffany asked as I was buckling her into her seat.

Nodding my head, "We sure are, baby." I smiled. "Are you excited?" She nodded her little head, jumping up and down in her seat.

I had the cutest baby ever.

Once we made it home, I sat Tiffany down on the floor. Watching as she ran off to go grab her apron. She had to look like mommy when we baked together, that was an unspoken law she made. Not that I cared, she looked too dang cute.

I made my way into the kitchen, sitting down all the shopping bags; I waited for my little girl. It wasn't too long before I heard the quick petter patter of her feet before seeing her race into the kitchen.

"Sweetie, you didn't need to run down the stairs," scolding her lightly, I didn't want her to get hurt. "You know mommy wouldn't start without you."

I walked over to the sink, washing mine and Tiffany's hands before turning the oven on, turning in up 350 degrees; giving it enough time to preheat before it was needed. The stupid thing maybe new, but it took forever to preheat.

I then made my way around the kitchen; grabbing all the utensils that would be needed: blender, a wooden spoon, measuring cup and spoons, and cookie sheet then sitting everything down on the table. I measure the three cups of flour, a cup of each white and brown sugar, and one cup of butter. Sitting them to the side, I measured out a teaspoon of baking-soda, two teaspoon of vanilla extract.

Finally, to the part to where Tiffany can help me, I allowed her to pour sugars into the bowl, then add the butter. I took over, blending it all together until smooth, added the eggs, beating them in one at a time. I then took the baking-soda, dissolving it into two teaspoons of hot water, before adding it in. Once done blending it all together again, I placed scoops of the cookie dough on the cookie sheet.

We played while we waited for the oven to finished preheating — after about fifteen minutes, the oven chimed, signaling that the oven had finally preheated.

Placing the cookies into the oven, I sat the timer for ten minutes — then continued playing hide-and-seek with Tiffany.

I couldn't have asked for a better night.

**A/N I know it's a really short update, but it is an update. My family decided to wait until Monday to come in, ****therefore, I had time to write another chapter. The reason it's so short is because we just bought a horse and my brother is teaching me to ride. We've spent most of our time with Maxi when we're not working. **

**Good news is I got to update, bad news is, since we spend time with Maxi during the day now, I won't have much time to write. :( But i promise to have a least one update a month.**

**Constructive Criticism Appreciated**

**Thanks For reading.**

**Reviews make my week! haha **


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